Sexual Vitality
Because sexuality tends to be a private matter, it's likely that
you've heard less about sexual change than any other element of aging.
Fortunately, the news is good—for most healthy adults, pleasure and interest
don't diminish with age. Most people are sexual throughout their lives, with or
without a partner, and some feel greater sexual freedom in their later years.
On the other hand, some men and women are content to be sexually inactive.
Around age 50, men and women typically begin to notice changes in
their sexual drive, sexual response, or both. Like so many other physical
changes that evolve over time, these aren't signs that you are losing your
sexuality. Rather, these changes are simply something to adjust to and discuss
openly with your partner and/or health professional.
Normal sexual changes in men
As you age beyond your 50s, you may find that:
- Male sex drive is minimally affected by age
(although health problems, certain medications, or relationship stress can
lower sex drive).
- Erections become less firm and tend to take more
time than when you were younger.
- You may be able to delay
ejaculation for longer than when you were younger.
Normal sexual changes in women
After
menopause,
estrogen and
androgen levels drop, causing physical changes. You
may find that:
- It can take longer to become sexually
excited.
- Your skin may be more sensitive and easily irritated when
caressed.
- Intercourse may be painful because of thinning vaginal
walls (regular sex often helps prevent this from becoming severe). If a
water-based lubricant (such as Astroglide or K-Y ) isn't enough, talk to your
health professional about vaginal estrogen cream, which reverses thinning and
sensitivity. For more information, see the topic
Menopause and Perimenopause.
- You are less
interested in sex.
If you have noticed sexual changes that don't seem to be linked
to normal aging, talk to your health professional. There are a number of
medications that can cause sexual problems, as well as
health conditions that can cause sexual problems.
Adjusting to age-related sexual changes
With a little experimentation and patience, you can adjust to
sexual changes and satisfy your sexual and intimacy needs. If you think your
sexual interest might be affected by a medication or health problem, work with
your health professional to correct or treat it. Talk with your partner about
any misgivings you might have so you can handle them together.
With your partner, take your time to set a relaxed mood and
engage in foreplay. Use a lubricant if vaginal dryness or irritation is a
barrier to enjoying sex. If you drink alcohol, remember that a small amount may
relax you and increase your responsiveness, but too much alcohol is likely to
work against you.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are a risk no
matter what age you are. Unless you and your partner have recently been tested
or you are 100% sure that you both have been monogamous for many years without
infection, make sure that you
practise safe sex to prevent STIs.